I'm ever so frustrated with everything atm and truly beginning to run out of titles, no one really cares about my ramblings anyway though.
I think my problem today is that I just wish I could be the person I want to be, I'm just too awkward, I'm not likeable so it alienates me and ruins everything. I try though, don't think for a second I don't, but when you are constantly in your head second guessing what you're saying or doing and have grown up with people constantly telling you that you're destructive and weird, it gets repetitive and eventually you start believing it?
I want to like social situations and get on with people, because I would do anything to make a lot of people happy, but it gets to the point where I'd rather be the one that 'chooses' or seems to choose to be left out, rather than be dumped out in the cold without warning. That's the bit about this that sucks, whenever I let people in, or let them a little closer, then I'm the one that gets hurt. Why does this even happen? What am I meant to do to prevent it? I feel like I could've changed things if I'd bitten my tongue, if I was able to fit in with the majority. It's sad that I don't.
I'm a sad, pathetic excuse for a person.
No comments:
Post a Comment