It's currently almost ten pm on Thursday evening, this is my second post today, which seems a little excessive but I'm using this as a way of getting my thoughts down and seeking help without having to be direct about it. Albeit, talking through things makes me feel better! (maybe)
So, I'm run down, ill and my nose has exploded into this snot ridden mess, I figured this evening would be easy, I'd walk home from work, I'd chill until later on, have a quick game of dota 2 and then would sleep. Simple right? Wrong. It's looking extremely likely that I've been let down, which is always a sickening feeling that sets my stomach and brain into overload, my stomach doesn't know whether it is okay or whether I'm about to throw up, oh and my brain, well that just over thinks until I'm firmly placed in a state of panic.
I'm questioning whether what I'm doing is right by either of us? I'm beginning to feel numb and just counting down the days I can leave and end it all. That's not healthy though is it? So tell me why, when it's an easy fix, no one is willing to give me my happiness back? Why I'm not allowed to be saved from these feelings? How do I fix them myself? I'm running out of ways to get back to a point of mental flat ground.
What would you do if you held the key to save someone from themselves?
No comments:
Post a Comment