Trapped

I guess I always wonder why I'm here? why I was even born? what's out there for me? What will happen in five years time?
It's saddening to know that I'll never actually know, what's even more saddening is not knowing if you want to?

I'm sick of it being just me, I just want someone to care you know? To give a damn when I'm crying, or even when I'm happy. To want to spend time with me without thinking I'm a burden. I can't envisage that every happening however, so why can't I end it? What's stopping me? What's keeping me from ending everything and not having to worry how I'll spend my life? Not having to worry about what he's doing, whether he's safe? Because after all, why should I care when no one else does?

I get that I'm difficult, but I try. So why can things just not work out once? Just once? Bleugh Bleugh Bleugh. Someone just give me a chance please?