Empty, empty, empty.

Officially my life has been completely turned on its head, not only did I lose my boyfriend but I lost my best friend too, it's finally completely clear that he no longer wants anything to do with me. Not even friendship, that sucks hard.
We got on so well, had such fun together. Yet, I seemingly just didn't make the grade, I didn't cut it. I hope he's happy in whatever or whoever he does, excuse how crude that is. Finally, I hope things sort themselves out for me too, I might just sleep until they do.

On the plus side, I've lost a stone of weight and get my hair sorted tomorrow.

Trapped

I guess I always wonder why I'm here? why I was even born? what's out there for me? What will happen in five years time?
It's saddening to know that I'll never actually know, what's even more saddening is not knowing if you want to?

I'm sick of it being just me, I just want someone to care you know? To give a damn when I'm crying, or even when I'm happy. To want to spend time with me without thinking I'm a burden. I can't envisage that every happening however, so why can't I end it? What's stopping me? What's keeping me from ending everything and not having to worry how I'll spend my life? Not having to worry about what he's doing, whether he's safe? Because after all, why should I care when no one else does?

I get that I'm difficult, but I try. So why can things just not work out once? Just once? Bleugh Bleugh Bleugh. Someone just give me a chance please?

Energy and dedication, where you at?

I just want quick results but these aren't quick enough! What is even happening. Honestly, I'm ready for things to pick themselves up now, but instead nothing is happening? Why is that?
What I'm talking about is everything, my weight loss, like fine so I've lost around eight pounds since starting this, but it isn't visible and according to my scales I'm 31% fat which is higher than it should be! I'm trying so give me results, please?

And secondly, I'm trying to be friends still but its so difficult when he's avoiding talking at times, then others he's lovely. What is this about? God damm it. I'm ready to close my eyes and wake up to a new me with prospects and a sexy body!

Leaky potato

I didn't know what to call this post and since I've just had leak and potato cuppa soup, this is the outcome.
I think today is mostly good, I'm fed up of seemingly 'begging' for friendship. Where's my power at? I want to be the one choosing whether to talk to people not the other way round. FRUSTRATING! Argh
Hey ho, I lost some more weight. That's a positive I'll be attractive soon enough we hope!

How are all you doing?